0005: Nobody

 Nobody

He stood there in the middle of conversation and realized that he'd never be important.

The cup of soda pop almost slipped from his hands, and for a moment Sue thought he'd seen something behind her and she giggled and looked behind her, then turned back at him, puzzled at what he was looking at.

"Josh?"

He smiled and said, "I forgot to tie up the dog. Moms' gonna kill me."

Sue pouted "Mom told you to do it before the party!"

Josh was already running to the house "I know!"

He weaved between the older kids, the younger kids, the men and women invited to this massive family bash that happened every start of the Summer. A good ol' family Benson Family Grill. And it wasn't a Benson Family Grill if they didn't invite half of the neighbourhood: The Mayor and local Milkman included.

Josh ran into the cool of the house. The kitchen was for now thankfully quite empty, so he closed the door behind him on the mild hub-bub of people talking to eachother, and started hyperventilating.

He was only 10 for Godssakes. Why did he feel ancient all of the sudden? Why did he know for a fact that he wasn't super  man anymore, that all those BMX tricks he'd been doing were dangerous as hell, stupid as hell, that all the sugar he stuffed down his throat wasn't healthy, that it only took one bad day for him to be dead and gone?

Why did he know all of the sudden how mortal he was?

He walked up to the kitchen sink and pulled himself up. Stared at the blue Gordon The Engine wall clock and watched it tick-tock on the wall. Its eyes wagging left and right. Of course Josh only saw time. Time written down mercilessly.

He closed his eyes and the panic sort of faded away, and with it came a clarity he knew he'd never forget.

He knew nobody would every write a story about him. He knew he would never particularly excel at anything. He knew that even his death would be as every day and pedestrian as anyone elses. It was going to be like that. A perfectly normal life spent utterly unobserved and unanalyzed. He was neither hero nor villain. He was just Josh Benson, first born twin brother of Susan Benson, son of Mr. and Mrs. Benson, the Bankers who lived in Littlebug Lane.

He opened his eyes and looked out the window at the neighbourhood talking about all sorts of things and sighed. He didn't think he'd have any epiphany like this again, but it was nice to know what to expect, as sad as it was.

And with that he slid off the kitchen sink and headed outside again.


To talk. To live.