0011: Red Zeppelin
Red Zeppelin
"Oh my Stars." The Elf-Watcher shivered in fear, "It's them!"
Elvenglade Fortress was a proud thousand year monument to what the neo-elves had achieved when accepting the practicality of dwarven craftmanship and the dirty cunning commerce of human ingenuity. It was a metropolis if there ever was one, run on light, magic and 2 starship-class reactors. A beautiful massive metropole that didn't even have a seedy underground to speak of. It is said that even the druggies of the city walked around with neckties.
And now that was under threat. Out in the horizon, the airship came.
"Did we do something to annoy them?" The Watcher raised the alarm frantically, staring at the red blip in the distance.
"Do you think they hold grudges? They're pirates! They come when they want to. Dammit. Try contacting them!"
A cheery voice answered, "This is The Red Zeppelin Captain Mac McMillian here speaking. How may I help you?"
"E-er Sir..."
"Captain."
"C-captain... We were wondering if you were coming for a visit or... You know."
"You know what? Are you assuming we're up to no good?"
"No- no no!"
"Because we definitely aren't! Bombs away!"
The shields raised automatically as 14 missiles were launched, trailing fiery flame.
"Brace for impact!" The Watcher said.
But instead, the missiles just swooped through the shield, ignoring them completely and flew straight to the palace, where the Elf King had been reading a book.
He stood up and looked out the window and swore in ancient language just before they exploded, blasting the entire palace and filling it with... Glitter. Glitter that took months to get out.
The King sighed and threw his book away.
At the walls the Red Zeppelin contacted them again,
"Our business here is done. Tell your King next time it'll be something less fragrant, and tell him to stay the hell out of our business in space. It's for his own good. Have a nice day"
With that, the space warped around the airship, and it vanished from view.
"Those damn space pirates." An older Elf-Watcher said, shaking his head and knowing he was about to get fired. His companion was shaken.
"H-how the hell did they get past the shields. They're multi-dimensional. They can block such-"
"You really don't believe the stories, huh?"
"That they've travelled the edges of space and fight gods and devils? That they have more magic knowledge than the history of the planets combined? No!"
"Well. Start believing. In my opinion, I'm glad they're just mad, not malicious."
The Red Zeppelin flew back to their business they'd been attending to. The Captain got out of his chair and winked at Clarisse, the medium who controlled the ship. She ignored him.
"Need help with this one, Cap?" Benjamin was inspecting his multi-gun.
"Nah. Gonna try for a chat. If I can save it. Damn Elf King."
So he donned his pirate outfit (graded for mobility and combat near a star) , picked up his rapier (that could cut through concepts) and jumped out into the void of space.
The massive alien cube glowed as it recognized him. This civilization had just discovered the galaxy, and they wanted it.
The Captain thought that'd be bad for business.
He'd try to parley first.
"Oh my Stars." The Elf-Watcher shivered in fear, "It's them!"
Elvenglade Fortress was a proud thousand year monument to what the neo-elves had achieved when accepting the practicality of dwarven craftmanship and the dirty cunning commerce of human ingenuity. It was a metropolis if there ever was one, run on light, magic and 2 starship-class reactors. A beautiful massive metropole that didn't even have a seedy underground to speak of. It is said that even the druggies of the city walked around with neckties.
And now that was under threat. Out in the horizon, the airship came.
"Did we do something to annoy them?" The Watcher raised the alarm frantically, staring at the red blip in the distance.
"Do you think they hold grudges? They're pirates! They come when they want to. Dammit. Try contacting them!"
A cheery voice answered, "This is The Red Zeppelin Captain Mac McMillian here speaking. How may I help you?"
"E-er Sir..."
"Captain."
"C-captain... We were wondering if you were coming for a visit or... You know."
"You know what? Are you assuming we're up to no good?"
"No- no no!"
"Because we definitely aren't! Bombs away!"
The shields raised automatically as 14 missiles were launched, trailing fiery flame.
"Brace for impact!" The Watcher said.
But instead, the missiles just swooped through the shield, ignoring them completely and flew straight to the palace, where the Elf King had been reading a book.
He stood up and looked out the window and swore in ancient language just before they exploded, blasting the entire palace and filling it with... Glitter. Glitter that took months to get out.
The King sighed and threw his book away.
At the walls the Red Zeppelin contacted them again,
"Our business here is done. Tell your King next time it'll be something less fragrant, and tell him to stay the hell out of our business in space. It's for his own good. Have a nice day"
With that, the space warped around the airship, and it vanished from view.
"Those damn space pirates." An older Elf-Watcher said, shaking his head and knowing he was about to get fired. His companion was shaken.
"H-how the hell did they get past the shields. They're multi-dimensional. They can block such-"
"You really don't believe the stories, huh?"
"That they've travelled the edges of space and fight gods and devils? That they have more magic knowledge than the history of the planets combined? No!"
"Well. Start believing. In my opinion, I'm glad they're just mad, not malicious."
The Red Zeppelin flew back to their business they'd been attending to. The Captain got out of his chair and winked at Clarisse, the medium who controlled the ship. She ignored him.
"Need help with this one, Cap?" Benjamin was inspecting his multi-gun.
"Nah. Gonna try for a chat. If I can save it. Damn Elf King."
So he donned his pirate outfit (graded for mobility and combat near a star) , picked up his rapier (that could cut through concepts) and jumped out into the void of space.
The massive alien cube glowed as it recognized him. This civilization had just discovered the galaxy, and they wanted it.
The Captain thought that'd be bad for business.
He'd try to parley first.
Comments
Post a Comment